Speed Racer (Blind Review)

I haven't seen Speed Racer and have no intention of seeing it. Here's my review:

The Wachowski Brothers continue to outdo themselves in their quest to make the worst movie of all time. Unfortunately, they may have set the bar too high with their Matrix sequels. Reloaded holds the crown, but I've heard Revolutions was worse. So we'll just call that a tie. V for Vendetta was hilarious in its horridness - I still have fantasies of kissing the plastic mask of the emotionless girl of my dreams. At least Spiderman was gracious enough to pull the spidy-spandex aside.

With Speed Racer, the Wachowski Brothers succeed in making a movie worse than V, but, unfortunately fall short of the Matrix stink bombs. Sorry, guys. Maybe next time.

Good news for you readers. I've come across some dialog from a pivotal scene in the movie:

Waitress: So your name's Speed, huh?
Speed: Yeah! You wanna race?
Waitress: Not really. I just thought that was a funny name.
Speed: Let's drop acid and race!
Waitress: Um. No thanks.
Speed: I love to race. And drop acid.
Waitress: Hey. That sucked how you died at the end of that Wild movie.
Speed: It didn't suck half as much as this movie.
Waitress:
Speed: Wanna race?