Question from Kazekiel

Kazekiel asked, "Is that your real hair? Because it kind of looks fake."

What the hell are you talking about? What hair are you referring to? If you're asking about the carpet and the drapes, don't worry. They match. And it's real. Most of it.

But I have a question for you, Kazekiel. Is that your real name? 'Cause that must have sucked in elementary school. And then high school. College. Job market. Bachelor life. You're a bachelor, right? With a name like Kazekiel, I would assume so. However, maybe you should take a trip to Renaissance Festival. I can definitely see you hooking up with some spiked mace wielding, horse riding, no silver ware eating, black plague fighting, 14th Century wench.

Or perhaps you could check out Amish country in my home state of Pennsylvania. They do dudes named Ezekiel all the time, so Kazekiel shouldn't be a far stretch. Sure, the chick's got 6 fingers, but that's a good thing. Trust me.